It is just I’m not ready yet…

Being a pure fan is not an easy thing, I think?

You do not know what will happen the next second you open the browser and start surfing (?) about your idols.

Beside, being a pure fan means you have to be… strong?

Yes, your idols do say things like “Thank you for always supporting us, our beloved fans! We love you~”

But let’s think REAL. Do they really know our existence? LOL

I’m not trying to be mean or something, but yeah… At least, I feel that sentence.

Okay, here, let’s just say I’m being too fanatic. But it really makes me frustated!

Last few months, things keep me in mess. Hurr…

People say you have to support what your idols do, what they decide for their future. I did agree with the statement. But now, it is really hard for me to stick the sentence in my mind, why -_-

I am a fool, I know. Some people might say I’m being delusional, or even crazy.

He does not even know my existence after my four years spent on him, yet I still do things like tweeting him hundred of times saying that I don’t like his—secret—decision, or nagging in my room about him and his fan services, or being too happy just because he is too handsome that day, blablabla.

I act like I know him the best, I know exactly how he feels or reacts to some comments related to him… But who knows, maybe I am right? About everything that he did not say but I represent him.

But I bet 100% he exactly, definitely, does not know I even exist today to support him, to get sad with him, to be happy with him.

He is just too happy that he is having a girlfriend now, a person that might be her future wife, who will wake him up the way he likes every morning, who might be a mother of his children he dreams all this time, who he believes will stay right beside him in his happiness or sadness till the death parts them.

It’s not like I don’t want him to be happy.

He is a human too, a person who needs his own privacy for his living. It’s not because he is an idol that he has to live like a god who will yes all your wishes.

It’s just I’m not ready to all of this.

After my four years on him, learning about him, loving him all the way he is, it is my first time to get this frustated because of him!

Lee Sungmin, you really must have driven me crazy in these four years that I got into you this much!

YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW ME, WE HAVE NOT EVER MET, YOU JUST DO THINGS CALLED FAN SERVICES LIKE OTHERS DO, AND YOU DO IT NOT ONLY FOR ME BUT FOR YOUR FANS ALL AROUND THE WORLD, BUT  W H Y  ? WHY SHOULD I HAVE FALLEN THIS MUCH INTO YOUR CHARM?! BAD YOU!😦

Who should I blame in this case? Me? Or you? Exactly the first person to blame is you! You spread too much charms, you show too much charisma! Then the real problem is that I fall into your charm, your charisma! All about you drives me crazy! HOW?

Lee Sungmin, just call me crazy. Yes, you have rights to call me so. I have to admit it myself LOL

But how…

You are too handsome that I cannot avoid your charm, even when I get frustated because of you like this, HOW? But you don’t even know my existence while I have been falling into you this much, HOW? And you even have got a girlfriend without knowing thousand of broken hearts outside, HOW?

We, fans, who still support you till today VS a girl that you just met few months ago in musical

Yet you still choose her, right? WHY?

If we want to, we, fans, can state that we know you more than she knows about you!

But WHY? WHY, Lee Sungmin? WHY???

You are a bad boy, do you know that?

You make us fall into your charms, stay in that charm for years, and then break us into pieces for a girl!

I am not ready yet, Lee Sungmin. We are not ready yet.

Please ㅠㅠ

You can get married, live happily with your future family, but not this fast…

You just met her few months ago ㅠㅠ

We are not trying to say that she is not a good girl, just… we want the best for our beloved ㅠㅠ

People say if you lose the person you love, then just let them be happy with others, right?

That’s what we want to do now ㅠㅠ

So please… ㅠㅠ

We do love you, we do support you, we do want the best for you, Lee Sungmin.

We are sorry for interfering in your private life too much.

But like your own quotes, “It is because you love that you worry, you support, and you want to make someone happy.”

— JUDGE HERE★ —

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